Medicine or Faith?

That is the decision I am battling today! And boy is it one of the most major ones as it not only effects me, but this little girl inside me. After 3 weeks of no progesterone injections (waiting on the pharmacy to find something else that works, then battling with Dr. vs. insurance about payment, and then phone tag with Dr.), I had pretty much given up on getting my injections and already placed my faith in God to take care of this little girl and keep her safe inside until she is healthy enough to come out. Well, now everything is "worked out" for the injections and they (the Drs.) want to try them again, despite the fact I haven't had them in 3 weeks. (Just a side note, I really am also questioning whether or not they would even serve the purpose at this point, since I have been so long without them. When I was having trouble getting the injection mailed to me the first round, the Dr. was very adamant that I needed the shot before the end of my 16th week, or he couldn't be sure that it would serve its purpose-not that they can do that anyway. So why is it that I can go 3 weeks without it and now it will still work? That baffles me!) Anyways, back to my original thoughts, I am just seriously having some issues with going back to get them, but torn because I feel like if I don't and she comes prematurely, it will be my fault. The reasons I am struggling so is not because of getting the shot itself....it really wasn't that bad...no worse than a pinch. However, I am very afraid of having another allergic reaction that will probably be worse this time (possible breathing trouble) since it got worse each time. On top of that, I had really made myself believe that it was not meant for me to get the shots with all that was keeping me from getting them, despite my efforts (see previous post for all this entails). It was almost as if God was trying to tell me to let him do his work. Then last night, as I was going to call the Dr. this AM to schedule my injection for today, I happened to read an article in a baby magazine about hormones and its possible links to cancer. Not that this would even be the same, but that terrifies me. Could I possibly be doing harm to my body by adding something that my body already has some of? I can't even explain all that I am feeling, but I am telling you that I don't feel right to get them. So, I called K this morning (since he is out of town) to get his opinion. I wanted to make sure he wouldn't be mad at me for not going back to get them since the Dr.'s think that is what I need to do. Thankfully, he was very supportive of me and my feelings.

So...I think I have decided that I am not going to take anymore injections and leave this baby's well being totally in God's hands. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be anyways? I just hope I am making the right decision and truly am hearing God speak to me and it is not my mind playing games with me. Because I truly do want to do what is best for the baby and myself.

God, she is already yours. I am turning her health totally over to you and asking that you mold her and shape her into your perfect plan, because I know your way is better than my way and your plan is far better than mine or any plan that I could ever fathom. Just please keep us both healthy and safe! I thank you in advance for what you are going to do!