I regret that I am starting off blogging with a sorrowful entry, but then again, I have to deal with life as it is dealt (which has been pretty bad for the past year).
As many of you know, this year (and last year) hasn't been the brightest for my family as I experienced a brain tumor in August, K had two job layoffs, and financial struggles related to all the above and then some. Then, last Sunday, we once again took another blow...I had a miscarriage at 4-5 weeks of pregnancy. Although we had not planned for this pregnancy, I took the miscarriage pretty hard, as I went through all the emotions in one week of realizing I was pregnant, shocked, scared, acceptance/excited about another baby, and then lost it. Even though I was only just beginning pregnancy, I still battled with the emotions of a loss. I am very grateful; however, that I was no further along than I was. I can't imagine losing a child/pregnancy once the cells turn into a child. My heart goes out to anyone who has had to experience that...you are a hero to me!
I am finally able to see through the clouds once again to realize that once again God has control of my life! As always in the midst of the storms, I don't know what His plans are, but like always, I someday will. Even though this is not pleasant to experience right now, He will make something great out of it (as I have seen Him do in so many situations in my life before). Until then, I hang on to His promises, "This too shall pass"! Hopefully our future days are brighter and filled with blessings!
{Social Distancing: Week 11 (SDW11)}
3 years ago
3 comments:
Oh Darling!!! I am so sorry! I'm sure you don't really want to talk about it right now, but please know that I am here!!!! Love ya!
Carrie,
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate as I miscarried a baby back in December 2003 about a month after finding out I was pregnant.
Second, don't minimize your loss. You didn't "lose a bunch of cells"; you lost a baby, a precious child of God. Grieve it for what (and who) it is. When I miscarried, 3 things helped me to get through what was, and has remained, the most difficult time in my life: 1. We named our baby even without knowing the gender. It just made it more real and helped me to grieve an actual person (and the dreams that would never be realized for him/her) rather than just a generic being. Does that make sense? 2. The only person at the time that I knew to experience the deep loss of a miscarriage was my best friend 600 miles away. She comforted me by sending me two books that were helpful to her after her miscarriage. I still have them and share them with other women as a means of comfort and encouragement. I would love to share them with you if you are interested. 3. Continue to trust in the Lord as your strength (Psalm 118:14). Also, if you are willing, the Lord will use this for good (Romans 8:28-29), which has been the biggest blessing in my life to come out of such tragedy.
I am here for you, thinking of you and praying for you always (1 Cor. 1:4). You have been such an encouragement in my life, and I hope to do the same.
". . .when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." ~Job 23:10
Carrie,
We are so sorry to hear what you have been going through these last few weeks. Even though we are several hours apart, we are only a phone call away!
Love you all!
Regina and Don
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